Hot Vinyasa Day 1

A couple of days ago, I had the usual post-lunch guilt that screams for me to start eating healthy and exercising. Normally, I tell my conscience to shut the f up as I walk over to a co-worker's cube and shove a mini-Twix bar down my throat, but this time I did something extremely out of character. I quickly remembered that my co-worker and #3 BFF in the office had told me that her friend lost 27 pounds doing hot yoga. Images of my dough-y body doing tripods raced through my mind, as I Google'd nearby studios. Finally, I landed on one close to my work that offered new students a one month membership for only $40. I could not pass it up, and knew that this could be the thing to get me in shape before my 21st birthday and trip to Las Vegas. (Side note: I had a dream a couple months ago of winning big at Black Jack and throwing a skinny arm in the air--this dream has stayed with me).

Yesterday, I finally purchased the membership, and spent most of the day at work obsessing over my new activity with my fellow co-workers. At lunch, I headed to Walmart and spent $30 on yoga supplies, because I didn't want to look like an amateur on my first day. As I was waiting for the elevator before heading to my death (aka hot vinyasa class) with my #1 office BFF, she said, "It's like seeing my daughter off to her first day of college." She was so right. At that moment, there was nothing more important than me dominating the next hour and a half of class. At this time, I still thought that this would be do-able. I mean hey, I had done yoga like 10 times already. I was basically a pro.

Going into the studio, I felt like a helpless, fat, loser ("Ummmm hi I'm Sarah... where do I sign in? Ha ha--thanks. Yea, it's my first time... so nervous! Ha ha."). I noticed one chubby, bearded guy in the back corner of my class, so I knew that he was my competition for the day. As I was sitting in my criss-cross-apple-sauce position waiting for the class to start, I was already dripping sweat. Worries flew through my head. How was I going to handle this until 6:30?! What happens if I run out of water? These burning questions were halted once my undeniably cool, 100 pound instructor entered the class, and all I could think was "fuck." Saying that I got my ass kicked is an understatement. I was without a doubt the worst person in my class. The CBG in the corner also struggled, but not as much as I did. Honestly, I would say that I stayed in child's pose for about 25% of the time. Whatever.

By the time I got home, I was ready for bed. I fell asleep on the couch for an hour with my cat which is pretty shocking because usually she doesn't like being held (she was a stray, and still has PTSD... she's getting better every day, though, as you can see). This morning, I awoke in my bed with no recognition of how I got there. This has happened many times before, but is usually due to an overindulgence in alcohol. As I stepped out of bed, my body felt like a shrunken pretzel. Every step I took felt like my last. How would I survive hot vinyasa day 2?

I am interested to see if today's class gets any easier. I am also interested in finding out why my instructor thought that Down Dog was a relaxing position. I'm just hoping that if I keep this up, I will become a yogahead, and be able to scoff at the class newbies that enter the room with no idea of what's about to happen to them.

Namaste.